January 19, 2007

 Dear Fr. X,* 

image of 2nd letter writingThank you for meeting with me last week on the subject of safe environment projects and the Harrisburg program, Formation in Christian Chastity, which is a combination of sex education and safe environment curricula.   As I promised, I did reread the texts which were posted on the Veil of Innocence web site. I think they are substantially valid. It is also interesting that the diocese of Vermont never responded to me with the suggestions I proposed to the program So much for parents…The experts rule…

Also I spent this morning re-reading the guideline book Formation in Christian Chastity. This program claims to be based on TMHS. IF so, then it should have remained just that-a guideline within the family.  Take for example something so simple as the classroom teacher’s warning not to take a shortcut or not to ride in a car with someone you do not know. Put yourself in the shoes of a child, unable to interpret. There may be a perfectly safe shortcut his family members always take. Likewise, a child could be frightened to ride home with his friend’s Dad, because he had never met him. An unnecessary and impossible  burden is being placed on the child. Many classroom instructions are open to uncontrollable discussion and unpredicted responses on the part of the students.

I remain very critical of this program. In the primary grades, its use invades the innocence and tranquility of the children, falsely attempting to empower young children, with artificial assertive behavioral techniques, to distinguish between good touches and bad, with all the sexual implications such classroom discussion could engender. That children have been troubled by this sort of class discussion is documented.

The program itself is desensitized with its biological instruction to parents, who are presumed not to know these things? It continues to amaze me that programs have to include descriptions of sexual intercourse and sexual development, as if parents were stupid, and as if human sexuality were an everyday subject matter. What is ever left to mystery and reserve?   And once again, the program’s mantra is that parents and teachers need to feel “comfortable” discussing these things, and children as well must repeat “the words” again and again.

No, just the opposite- as the Catechism of the council of Trent instructs-caution and brevity are in order- respect for what is mystery and intimate. Human life is sacred and virtue must be viewed in relation to sacramental grace.

As the grades increase, chastity becomes singled out as THE Commandment, so, by the seventh and eighth grades, the classroom topics for discussion include all the sexual sins and perversions. These subjects are entirely too sensitive to be handled in class. The most sexually wise or experienced kid is empowered to bring the classroom knowledge up- or maybe down- to his level. I have already mentioned this in connection with abortion and rape. We must have more respect for the individual moral, physical, and spiritual development of the child, as well as respect for the marital embrace which dictates privacy and intimacy- not classroom discussion.  How dare the bishops distort this meaning and usurp parents’ rights!

Overall, there is too much talk about sex, in that public way, and that makes kids think about sex, and, they experiment. Why can’t the Church and Catholic school let parents do their job, naturally? TMHS was intended to help parents do their job. The document is far better than this program.  The Harrisburg project was an attempt to place sex education in the context of the Faith. What is needed is to teach the Faith, which includes very reverent, brief, and abstract references to sexual morality. Virtue is caught more than taught, and it is in the home where anything of significance endures.

I always hear how parents don’t teach or do their job. Parents do indeed teach, first by example- good or bad. Most parents welcome help with a variety of topics. TMHS has done just that. In some cases, a teacher may not be able to communicate with the home effectively, and sees real neglect. In that situation, individual help with a student may be necessary. But this is the exception, not the rule, because parents alone have the additional help of sacramental grace to form their individual children in the virtue of chastity.

I might close with the thought that regarding formation in sanctity, the Church in its sacramental structure underscores value, reverence, and intimacy in that each sacrament is administered personally and individually..  Should educators do less?

Classic catechesis emphasizes that the providential loving God cares for his children and even sends us a guardian angel to watch over each of us. I believe that the safe environment program portion is a secular Palegian approach to child abuse. The bishops would do better to police their own, which is what the John Jay report indicates.

I hope you will reject this program and do your part in safeguarding the innocence of our little ones.

Sincerely and with love,

Alice Ann Grayson

*(The name Fr. X is used in this letter because Veil of Innocence is currently working with this pastor who wishes to proceed in such a way which protects the children and does not confront his bishop.)